Baloney theater

I have compiled a list of the 10 worst movies to be nominated for Best Picture in the last 15 years (1993-2008). It’s my way of celebrating the Oscars with a good start:

10. Jerry Maguire. This movie was more about how cute it was. How cute the boy is, how cute Renée Zellweger is, how annoying Cuba Gooding Jr. is. The popularity of this movie caused the following disasters: “Daddy Day Camp,” “Snow Dogs,” TomKat, show me the money, and other American tragedies. Had the Academy foreseen these events as I did when I saw it, there would not have been an Oscar for Cuba or a Best Picture nod.
9. The Full Monty. It wasn’t a bad movie; it’s not as good of a film to be competing against “Titantic” and “L.A. Confidential.” I’m glad that I found Tom Wilkerson. He has grown on me.
8. Four Weddings and a Funeral. I didn’t enjoy this as much as the general population did. Plus, it didn’t add to cinematic history as much as the other four films did: “Forrest Gump,” “Pulp Fiction,” “Quiz Show” and “The Shawshank Redemption.” It only spawned “Love Actually” and “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” unfortunate Hollywood events.
7. Sideways. People made a big deal about Virginia Madsen’s monologue on life and wine. The best part was Paul Giamatti drinking his prized wine with a hamburger. The fact that the Academy ignored his and Sandra Oh’s performances merits its inclusion on this list.
6. Erin Brockovich. Because it killed the Best Picture Oscar chances for “Traffic” and I just don’t like Julia Roberts.
5. The Crying Game. Forest Whitaker with a British accent. Bad. I couldn’t get past that part.
4. The Departed. Yeah, Marty Scorsese gets an Oscar; yeah he wins Best Picture. Boo, for a overly hyped remake. “The Aviator” a year earlier was a stronger film, as was “Casino” and “Goodfellas.” Leave the lifetime achievement awards for later. To beat “Babel” that year is insulting.
3. Michael Clayton. I’ll have a review on this later. There were no standout performances, no standout dialogue, and no standout action. By far, this movie adds nothing to film history.
2. Juno. Yeah, I gave this a bad review. There were so many earlier movies that paved the way for this one to happen: “Little Miss Sunshine,” “Rushmore,” “Harold & Maude,” etc. Why is there so much praise for an out-of-date film?
1. The Sixth Sense. Unfortunate events this movie cause: 1) Bruce Willis thinks he’s an actor. 2) M. Night Shyamalan thinks he can make any movie he wants and make it “scary.” Ewwww! 3) Haley Joel Osmond’s drunk-driving crash. 4) “Unbreakable.” 5) “Pay It Forward.” 6) Mischa Barton’s DUI. 7) My cyanic view on Hollywood. 8) Shyamalan’s appearance in all his movies. Even Spike Lee stopped doing that in his movies. 9) Donnie Wahlberg’s presence in other horror movies. 10) People thinking that this is scary.

permalink | | | 02/22/2008

Denise

i didn’t know that the departed was a remake. i thought that one was really hyped up.

232 days ago | permalink

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